Friday, July 25, 2008

No Words

No Words.
My mind is racing, yet standing still.
I wish it would stop, yet the pain of spinning is keeping me at peace.
I am afraid if it stops, my tears would flow freely.
You see, my pastor, Dr. J. Howard Olds, is in the arms of his Father.
Dr. Olds went to see Jesus, and was cured of cancer, on Wednesday, July 23, 2008 at 4:30am.
His caring bridge website has more details than I want to offer with my fingers.
However, you may go here yourself.
Brentwood United Methodist Church has been my home church since 1982.
It's what I know.
It's comfortable.
It's my home away from home.
My children go to the day school there.
Chris and I worship there.
We attend Sunday School there.
All three of my children were baptized by Dr. Olds at BUMC.
Just last Sunday, I was speaking about how I was protesting moving back to Brentwood when Chris and I lived in SC and he got accepted into anesthesia school.
Today, I ate my words.
I looked around that church and all I saw was LOVE.
Love for a man that was one of the most kind, sincere, generous, tender, powerful, giving, forgiving, loving, nurturing, seed-sowing, fruit of the spirit, down to earth, hand on the door of heaven, showing you the compassion of Christ - kind of man.
The church was filled to the brim with people.
This was not like Sunday.
On Sunday, the church was almost empty - Summer Vacation.
Well, the vacations were cut short.
Even the Sunshine Choir came back from Choir Tour early to sing for Dr. Olds today.
That brings a tear to my eye just thinking about it.
If you know anything about High Schoolers - it's not like them to cut their once-a-year vacation early.
Comfortable.
I saw some of my friends today and we just waived.
No words.
No words needed.
We knew.
Dr. Olds had the ability to just stand before you without saying a word and you knew what he meant.
These last three months we had with him were something else.
His cancer had progressed (he was diagnosed 11 yrs ago with colon cancer).
He was preaching from his soul.
As I sat in church today, I was enveloped with love.
My former pastors, Bishop Spain and Bishop Pennel, were preaching and it was like old times for me.
I felt like a little kid again.
Comfortable.
As I sat next to my mom (Chris was at work and could not get off), I was reminded of the simplicity of life.
I take it for granted that everything in my body works without the need of medication, that I can get out of bed each day just fine, that my kids are extremely healthy, that each and everyday will be about the same.
I actually look forward to this routine of life.
As a former teacher, I love routines.
Now, I do not take for granted my marriage nor that everyone lives forever.
Those two things I do not take lightly.
If you know me, I will tell you how I feel & I mean it.
I was once told not to tell people you love them unless they are your family members.
Well, you know that's not how I feel.
I love big-time and I will let you know it.
My parents are divorced.
My mom's parents have passed.
My dad's dad has passed & my dad's mom has alzheimer's.
I do not take those two things lightly.
Back to simplicity, I loved watching both of my former pastors speak about the man whose voice I so longed to hear today.
Today was simple.
The sermon was simple.
The service was simple.
It was routine.
The one thing I didn't like about BUMC when I left is what drew me in today - like a nice warm bath with lots of bubbles.
Comfortable.
When I was walking out of the service, mom and I were holding hands, I then waived to my friends, saw lots of familiar faces with many tears down their checks, quietly exited the narthex on the way to get the children.
Once at their doors, a smile appeared on their faces and on mine and moms.
Routines.
Comfortable.
This gave me great joy and peace.
I still have many thoughts and if you've read all the way to this, wow!
You are like my husband.
He somehow can take my all-over-the-board thoughts and make them into a straight line for him to follow.

In closing up my thoughts for this post, Dr. Olds has touched our hearts and souls in this family forever.
My children would rather go to the Awakening Service, than go to Sunday School.
Why?
Because of Dr. Olds.
I was listening to his last sermon (6/29/2008) tittle "Don't Stop" when we got home from church today.
Immediately, Gavin and Taylor Marie rushed over to the computer and said, "That's Dr. Olds".
They know this because they love hearing him preach.
I love that my babies want to go hear the sermon every week.
Dr. Olds will forever hold a place in our hearts.
He opened our minds to places we've never dreamed of going.
My children already know The Lord's Prayer & say it proudly every week in church.
Chris and I are a stronger couple because of Dr. Olds preachings and teachings.
We have made amazing friendships with other families in the church because Dr. Olds made you want to be better Christians, Parents, and Friends.
We will miss you Dr. J Howard Olds.
You are in a better place.
Thank you for making me a better wife, mother, sister, daughter, friend, relative, and an overall better person.
No Words

3 comments:

bethology said...

I'm so sorry for your loss Brooks. ;( But I'm happy to know that Jesus himself is with him now and he's eternally happy and healthy!

The Muldrows said...

Brooks, I'm so sorry for your loss. God bless.

Tracy said...

I'm sorry to learn about your loss, Brooks. I pray for peace and comfort for your family and the church.